Today's sermon is the last in a three sermon series about the process of transition. Like the other two, it follows ideas presented by William Bridges in his book Transition. In my sermons I have been talking about the transition Community Church is going through, however I have also applied the transition process in a general way, so my sermons could have meaning for you in your own lives. I have gathered the three sermons in this series into a booklet, which is my farewell gift to you. They are available at the back of the room. For those of you visiting for the first time, I say "farewell" because today I will preach my final sermon here at Community Church.

I began this sermon series by discussing endings ­ which is really where we, at Community Church are right now. We, you and I, are ending our relationship. My second sermon was about what William Bridges calls "the neutral zone" ­ the time of doing nothing between an ending and a beginning. This morning I speak of beginnings ­ not because either of us is there yet ­ but because as difficult as this ending is for some of us and as difficult as the neutral zone will be for some of us, we need to be reminded that after an ending there is always a new beginning. All of us want a new beginning. For the congregation and for ourselves, personally. Let's acknowledge that we aren't there yet. This isn't even a preview. It's a preview of a preview!

In talking about beginnings I will use a four line process as my outline.

In order to have a new beginning you have to show up. What does it mean to show up? And why is showing up important? Well, if you don't show up, chances are you may not be part of the process. Most U.S. citizens who are eligible to vote don't show up. Sometimes we miss being part of a special moment in someone's life because we didn't show up, and forever after we are taunted by stories from those who were there, who laugh and chuckle among themselves and then turn to us and say, "You had to be there to understand." Some of you are feeling sad or mad because you didn't participate in the congregational assessment which helped me decide to resign as your minister. For whatever reasons, you didn't show up at any of the ways open to you to express your opinion. It's important to show up, because new beginnings can begin without announcement, and, unless you're there, you won't be part of it.

William Bridges says that beginnings are unscheduled, untidy and, often, unexpected. The Rev. Harris Riordan ­ a single woman and minister of the Unitarian Universalist Church in Boca Raton ­ decided to adopt a baby. Her attorney gave her the paperwork and explained that the process could take months, possibly years. Harris completed the paper work and dropped it off at her attorney's office. Her attorney asked her what her plans were for the afternoon. Harris asked, "Why?" The attorney answered, "Because I want you to return to my office at 4 pm. I have a baby for you." Bam! Just like that. A baby. Harris had not one stick of baby furniture, not one article of baby clothing, not one person lined up to give her support ­ and in hours she was going to be a mother! Some beginnings are unscheduled.

They're also untidy. Can you imagine the scurrying Harris went through that day and in the weeks to follow?! Not only did Harris have to scurry, the congregation did, too. For, of course, she needed to take maternity leave.

So showing up means you make the time in your schedule and you get your body there.

You also need to pay attention. William Bridges tells a great story about a man who retired. He was the manager of a section of a manufacturing plant, and he was well known at his place of employment for his fine attention to detail and his organizational skills. His retirement progressed as most do. There were the farewells at the plant. He entered the neutral zone by doing a lot of nothing ­ reading the paper, channel surfing on the TV, taking walks with the dog. However, he was really just going through the motions of making a significant change in his life. He wasn't really paying attention to his inner desires. One day, while his wife, who had not yet retired, was at her place of employment, he walked into the family kitchen, which in their household was his wife's domain, and totally reorganized everything. Not only that, he labeled the shelves and put lists of all the shelf contents on the insides of the cabinet doors. He was so pleased with himself. He could hardly wait for his wife to come home. He knew she would be so delighted that he had taken the trouble to reorganize her kitchen for her. Therefore, he was startled when she threw him out of the house after discovering what he had done. He hadn't changed at all. He simply took his work skills and applied them to his wife's kitchen, instead of the plant section where he had worked. Old behavior, new setting. Without paying attention, there is no new beginning.

The "paying attention" part of the transition process requires that we notice our deep longings. It is an inner process. We are looking for resonance, not what Bridges calls "logical signs of validity." Paying attention is what the affluent physician did when he reordered his life to have time to satisfy an old dream. He became a percussionist in his community's symphony orchestra. Paying attention is what the divorced woman with three minor children did, when she reordered her life to earn not one, but three university degrees, so she, too, could teach in the field of higher education. Transition is about change and change requires that we pay attention at a deep, deep level.

Paying attention, we sometimes discover not clarity but confusion. Bridges reminds us that confusion is part of the transition process. Confusion is not a signal that the timing is bad, or that we lack potential, or that we're headed in a wrong direction. It is simply a human response to change. The clarity will come. As they say in 12-step programs, "more will be revealed." Confusion is a signal that you are on the path, not a sign saying to turn back.

When we pay attention we sometimes notice resistance instead of confusion. William Bridges says that often people will start a fight to avoid change. There's a part of me that wonders if maybe that's what the current transition at Community Church is about ­ a way of avoiding change. I'll speak more about that later. The point I want to make now is that in paying attention you may become aware of resistance and confusion, and you will also become aware of the subtle indicators that help you recognize what it is you long for.

The next step in the beginnings phase of a transition is to tell the truth. You here are Community Church have made a good beginning during your congregational assessment. You've spoken out of your own experience not only to the Reverend Mary Higgins, who conducted the assessment, but also to each other. Some of these things were hard to speak and hard to hear, for they revealed your longings and your fears, and, in doing so, they revealed who you are.

There needs to be more truth-telling. The assessment disclosed deep divisions within the congregation, characterized by such words as "schism," "hostility," "unforgiving," "broken," "lost," "disrupted," "crisis," and "dissatisfaction." These divisions are not going to go away when I go away. In fact, they may intensify, because I will no longer be here to be the focus. They may find another focus, and, when they do, you will have started another fight to resist change. Instead of fighting you need to learn more about each other.

When I was in South Africa I listened to people tell about how they brought an end to apartheid and how they are rebuilding their country. They are doing it by telling stories. They even have a story-telling system called The Truth Commission. How are you going to continue telling the truth here at Community Church? I want to suggest four opportunities.

Mary Higgins recommends coming together "to build a solid financial plan that will give everyone accurate information; protect the [lease signers]; use everyone's gifts and talents to make a financial success of CUUC; and maintain quality in the programs you value."

Your treasurer, Mark Lane publishes a financial report regularly ­ almost on a week-by-week basis. It is posted on the bulletin board by the entrance to the church school. This is part of your truth telling around money. It has been my experience that while it may be nip-and-tuck keeping yourselves financially solvent, if you have a mind to do it, you will. The posted financial reports will give you evidence of your success.

Further, you have two fund raisers coming up which provide opportunities for those without the means to be lease signers, together with lease signers, to raise operating funds for Community Church. During the lulls in food and T-shirt sales you will have time to talk with each other and tell each other your truth. I hope you will speak out of your own experience and listen to deepen your relationship.

What masks itself as cash flow problems is often fear of economic diversity. If this were what I call "a cookie-cutter" Unitarian Universalist congregation you would be more affluent and located in a suburb. Instead, you're very diverse economically and you're located near the heart of this particular metropolitan area. Your location and your economic diversity presents problems, but it also presents promise. You may be one of the congregations to lead the UUA out of its bog of classism. To do that, you need to have people of different economic means talking together about their personal experiences. It is probably the toughest work you can do. It goes against all the cultural rules because you will be talking about money and your relationship to it.

Secondly, Mary suggests that the congregation may benefit from participation in a program like "Beyond Categorical Thinking" to tease to the surface heterosexist bias and bi-sexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender responses that add to the divisions here at Community Church. Having just participated in an anti-racism, anti-oppression training program, I realize how slowly culture changes ­ even culture in a Unitarian Universalist church. It takes time and it takes lots and lots of truth telling. Perhaps part of that truth is that Community Church is not yet a safe enough place where this conversation can occur. A structure like "Beyond Categorical Thinking" can help provide a safe place. Again, I speak here of very difficult and risky work which requires lots of structure and trust.

Third, Mary recommends "that you listen to your own advice and come together and build a vision that includes the new as well as the original dream." Recently someone said to me that the old vision called for a 24/7 facility, with a full-time minister, and a part-time religious educator. She questioned the validity of the vision when 1/3 of the vision is not present. Several of you have told me that you recognize the church can't go back to the way it was before I came. The events of the last two years have to be taken into account in creating a vision, as Mary's recommendation states. I believe that in order to talk about where you want to go, you need to be able to talk about where you have been, which requires more truth telling. No one person holds the history of this congregation. You all hold it. That's why, in my second sermon of this series I recommended that you talk with each other to determine just what your story is. It will be hard to reach agreement on why the ministry we've had together over the last two years did not succeed, however, the more fully you can agree on the past together, the more successful you will be in creating a vision together.

Mary's final recommendation is that you "develop a covenant to help the community learn to communicate better; speak the truth to each other in love; and heal the wounds that are between you." I'd like to suggest that after I've left, rather than disband your Committee on Ministry, that you fill the three empty positions and empower the COM (as some like to call the committee) to create a covenant process. Sandy Levine, Joan Dinser, and Jean Skinner are the three remaining committee members. If you would like to serve with them, it would be appropriate to let one of them and the board know. It is a board-appointed committee.

So, I've spoken about showing up for a new beginning, paying attention to your inner process, and telling the truth, to yourself and others. Now I speak of letting go of the results, or acceptance. Perhaps this is the hardest part of a new beginning. Whenever you start something new, you often produce results you didn't intend! Let me mention two examples, one of which I've already hinted at.

First, when you began your church, you chose a location near the heart of this metropolitan area, which meant the church opened its doors to people who are urban in character. Now that the congregation includes single parent families, retired persons on marginal incomes, and blue collar workers, the culture of the church has started to change. I believe this was an unintended result. I consider your economic diversity to be an asset. I believe some of you consider it a liability. Yet, an analysis of your table of giving reveals that, just as experts in financial giving would predict, 5% of your members give the top one-quarter of your pledge income, another 10% give the second fourth, 20% give the third fourth, and 65% give the final fourth. This distribution is exactly what it should be, and despite your diversity exactly what most suburban congregations report.

Second, when those of you who were here in 1997 decided to enter the New Congregation Program of the Unitarian Universalist Association, you did so because you believed you would grow faster with a minister than without a minister. Margaret Beard, the director of the program visited your congregation to assess your commitment to grow, to explain that the New Congregation Program ministers are appointed and affirmed, not selected from a field by a search committee, and to tell you about the ministers from whom she could choose. She may have mentioned that a high proportion of New Congregation Ministers are new ministers. She definitely said that a high proportion of New Congregation Ministers are bisexual, gay, lesbian or transgender (BGLT for short). Therefore, the likelihood that your minister might have other than a heterosexual orientation and be a new minister was high. So you prepared yourselves for that likelihood, whatever that meant to you.

Margaret Beard appointed me, an experienced minister and a lesbian. With commitment to your Unitarian Universalist principles, with the information I provided in my packet, with what you could discern about my ministerial style and lifestyle, when my partner, Patricia and I came to be with you for a weekend, you affirmed my appointment with only one dissenting vote. In making that choice you changed the culture of the congregation in two significant ways. One, you invited someone committed to a collaborative and sometimes directive style of leadership and two, you announced to the local community your willingness to have a lesbian as your spiritual leader.

A great deal of what has happened after that decisive moment were the logical results of your earlier showing up, paying attention and telling the truth. Your leadership circle expanded to include a veteran in spiritual leadership. The church quickly started attracting members of the BGLT community and others committed to anti-oppression work. This process was reinforced by publicity surrounding the February 14, 1998 airing of a 1996 ABC-TV documentary titled "For Better or Worse: Same Sex Marriage" in which Pat and I were featured. Some of you found yourselves in a surprising situation. Before you had a chance to get used to the two of us you found yourself explaining to your neighbors and co-workers why you had a lesbian minister and greeting same sex couples on Sunday morning.

All you ever really have control over are the clarity of your intentions, the energy you put in, and the love with which you act. The results are out of your hands.

Now I am leaving. You are entering another transition, which begins with an ending, includes a nothing time ­ the neutral zone, and will one day have a new beginning. During your transition process you will show up, pay attention, tell the truth, and, I hope, let go of the results. For the church will once again take on a life of its own and head in its own direction ­ which will be different from what some of you want. Guaranteed. Certified. Promised. It is the nature of Life.

It's scary to enter a time of change. I offer you this story by Noah benShea, to encourage you. It begins with a question from Mr. Gold.

"Jacob, where do you find the strength to carry on in life?"
"Life is often heavy only because we attempt to carry it," said Jacob. "But, I do find a strength in the ashes."
"In the ashes?" asked Mr. Gold.
"Yes," said Jacob, with a confirmation that seemed to have traveled a great distance.
"You see, Mr. Gold, each of us is alone, each of us is in the great darkness of our ignorance. And, each of us is on a journey.
"In the process of our journey, we must bend to build a fire for light, and warmth, and food.
"But when our fingers tear at the ground, hoping to find the coals of another's fire, what we often find are the ashes.
"And, in these ashes, which will not give us light or warmth, there may be sadness, but there is also testimony.
"Because these ashes tell us that somebody else has been in the night, somebody else has bent to build a fire, and somebody else has carried on.
"And that can be enough, sometimes."

Whenever you are discouraged in the time ahead, remember the ashes. Many other congregations have had a disruption in their ministry, bent to build a fire, and carried on. It can be enough, sometimes, just to know that.

Before we end our time of worship this morning, I want to let you know what Pat's and my plans are. Because we have no mortgage to pay, no car payments to make, shall sell one of our cars, and have some savings for our old age, we will make a three-month passage journey. We will leave all our household goods and the other car in storage here. We shall begin on April 28, when we go to Jacksonville for Pat's first experience in a Sweet Adelines competition. From there we'll go to Washington, DC for the Millenium March on Washington for gay and lesbian rights. In May we'll visit friends in Italy, France and Ireland, returning to Daytona to pick up our car in June. Then we'll drive across the country, stopping to visit with friends and family along the way, to Seattle, where we'll stay with one of our sons and his wife for a few weeks. In July we'll go to Yosemite in California to join a community of friends on a ten-day camping trip. After that we'll report to wherever it is we've been called to begin again ­ perhaps interim ministry, perhaps semi-retirement, perhaps something else. We are excited about our passage journey, seeing it as a time to reflect on our experience here before we go on to something else. We also look forward to the celebration of my ministry here on Sunday, February 13. I hope you will all come.

So, I end this last sermon in a series and in a ministry on the upbeat. Pat and I shall have a new beginning and so will you. Let's sing together a song of inspiration ­ "Song of the Soul" by Chris Williamson. The words are in your order of service.